God is Sovereign
Transformation is happening, and I feel blessed. Lately, one of the first scriptures that I had learned as a child has been on repeat in my head.
2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12: 2
This is exactly what he is doing. He is renewing my mind. This is exactly what I had been praying.
For the past 9 years I have been living in this constant battle with my mind. Actually I should be real with myself and say that all of my life I have struggled with this. In the past 9 years it has been one consistent battle. It was so heavy, tiring, and exhausting. All my thoughts were hateful, angry, bitter, and sad. Because of this I was empty. I often blamed someone for the reason I felt the way I did. I always pointed fingers. I believed everyone around me was the problem.
I never acknowledged that I was at fault. Once I came out of the closet with my depression, the Lord gracefully started making me aware of my sin. I was not extending grace to those around me. I wanted those around me to be just like me, to think like me, and do things my way. Therefore, when those around me were not able to live up to those expectations I would become a witch to be around. I'm not joking. Ask my husband.
Counseling reminded me that we are all different human beings with different personalities. We all have strengths. We all have weaknesses. I have become very fond of the Meyer Briggs Personality test. I have done it multiple times, and at one point I was really annoyed by it. However, right now this has been something that is renewing my mind. I need to extend grace to those who are not like me, and who function differently than I do.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
God extends so much grace. I am thankful. If he is so gracious to me, then I too must be gracious to others.
It has been a heart change for me. A mind change. A renewing of the mind. I can boast in the LORD. He has set me free. Friends, yes it is true, I no longer have a battle going on in my mind and peace has overwhelmed my soul. Praise HIM from whom all blessings flow!!!