Monday, June 25, 2012

Its been a V.E.R.Y long time

So I don't blog anymore.  As a working mom I don't have much time to do ANYTHING.  My daily life is 1. wake up 2. feed baby 3. Get dressed 4. Go to work 5. come home from work 6. feed baby 7. play with baby. 8. Eat dinner 9. give baby bath. 10 put baby to bed. 11. put myself to bed.

Going back to work after baby was born has been the most difficult life transition for me.  I can't even begin to explain the emotional battle I have been through.  I know God's plan is bigger than mine and it is perfect, but inside I'm screaming, "Its not what I want."  I have been taught a lot over that last 9 months of how selfish I am and how its not about me.  I'm coming back around to a happy me very slowly.

The other battle I have had has been Isaiah's sleeping.  Through my depression of a working mom I missed my baby and I was very very tired in the middle of the night.  Isaiah was a great night sleeper until about a month after me going back to work.  Its a long story, so I will spare you the details, but to make it short Isaiah has made it to our bed. :(  Not what I had in mind as a mother.

Now he is 9 months old and he sleeps terrible.  He is dependent on me to go back to sleep.  I am his pacifier.  UGH!  How did I let this happen?  Right now I am desperate for a change. I bought the baby whisperer books and while I'm on vacation I plan to read and formulate an action plan through prayer.  I can't let him cry it out for hours upon hours. We have tried and have been super unsuccessful.  I don't mind some crying but not 1-3 hours of it. no way.

Isaiah is a very happy happy baby I will say.  He is super fun.  He is crawling everywhere, cruising, laughing, and talking.  I love him so stinking much.

1 comment:

Debbie Monck said...

I so remember those days. Working full time with a baby is emotionally draining and my heart goes out to you. It DOES get easier... Hang in there.