So Monday is the big day. Our life will change dramatically on this day. I really do believe I am gaining peace about the whole situation. No matter what happens, I hope Justin and I are seeking out the face of our Heavenly Father. I know that this internship does not define who I am or what is ahead. God is peace and as long as peace dwells in my soul I know that I am being obedient to his plan for my life.
I am reading this book right now called Crazy Love. Francis Chan writes in one part this;
Many of us believe we have as much of God as we want right now, a reasonable portion of God among all the other things in our lives. Most of our thoughts are centered on the money we want to make, the school we want to attend, the body we aspire to have, the spouse we want to marry, the kind of person we want to become….but the fact is that nothing should concern us more than our relationship with God; it’s about eternity, and nothing compares with that. God is not someone who can be tacked on to our lives.
Chan goes on to question, Are you willing to say to God that he can have whatever he wants? Do you believe that wholehearted commitment to Him is more important than any other thing or person in you life? Do you know that nothing you do in this life will ever matter , unless it is about loving God and loving the people He has made?
That is the life I am called to live; dying to myself so that I may gain. I want to live my life completely sold out to God. It is so easy for life such as my internship to get in the way of my relationship. Yes I do want this internship, and I do believe I can serve better in the kingdom having this complete. Ultimately though I know He knows best and what I think sounds good may not sound good to Him! He is the one guiding and leading me in this life. I want my life to exist only to be completely in Love with my Heavenly Father and also Loving other people. He can have this internship and whatever he wants of my life.
Ask yourself those questions……it is quite challenging but so worth it.